Made me giggle, especially the paranoia part. How many of us has that happened to? Hell, probably happens to me sober more often than not.
Reminded me of a call I ran once where a teenager was left in a convenience store by her friends after they smoked for the first time. She was convinced she was dying and I had to convince her and the general public that she wasn’t, she just had to wait it out, and to look for some new friends in the future. I bought her a giant drink, gum, and munchies for the hospital visit and their subsequent call to Mom and Dad. Hahaha!